What’s down, Slackers??
Dear God have I got some terrifying news for everyone. Strap in folks, cuz this is gonna be quite the story.
To start off, I am sorry to inform you all that Mr. X and I are no longer. I know right? Who knew? I mean things had been going so well. We were doing great, getting along, doing a little bit of the nasty…the usual. Then one day we went downtown to see a movie. We met up at a coffee shop (where I had purchased drinks for both of us) and then proceeded to walk around for a bit before the show. We sat down on a bench where we talked for a bit. Then there was a moment of silence. THE moment of silence. I turned to face him, and I saw that he had been looking at me out of the corner of my eye. Just as I was formulating what I was going to say next, he opened his mouth and said the one thing a girl never wants to hear in her entire life, “(Insert Name Here), I can’t see you anymore”.
My jaw almost hit the ground. I was flabbergasted. I mean, we had made plans for the day, I had gotten coffee, we were talking like normal, nothing seemed different! At first I thought he was joking – at times he says stupid things like that to see how I react…in retrospect, I see that this should have been a clue to me that he wasn’t worth it. As a reaction, I jokingly pushed his face away, but then he muttered something similar to “what the fuck” and kept eye contact with me, which made me think he was being serious. To be sure, I looked him in the eye and said, “Are you serious?” And unfortunately, internet, he was.
We had gotten into a fight earlier in the week, and I had commented on how he wasn’t exactly treating me as nicely as he once had. I feel like this played a large part in why we broke up because his words were, “I feel like I can’t be as committed to you or as good of a boyfriend to you as I want to be, and I feel like you’re noticing that”. Admittedly, I can see that he was really diplomatic about it all, however no matter how you put it, he still broke up with me, which sucks all sorts of balls. The worst part is he went on to say how much he liked me as a person and wanted to hang out and blah blah blah (all the B.S. you DON’T want to hear when you’re getting dumped), and THEN he asked if I wanted to see the movie with him still!!
Although I am usually quite open to hanging out/being friends with my exes, this was a bit of a different situation. Not only was I not expecting him to end things that day, but over the previous week, I had began to wonder if I could potentially be pregnant (I had all sorts of symptoms: sore chest, nausea, and a cold, to name a few). Of course in order to avoid an all out freakout in the middle of the street, I responded to the break up with “I think going to a movie right now would be really awkward” and we left it at that. I was sad for a few days, but I surprisingly got over that relatively quickly (another sign to me that things really weren’t that serious to begin with). Besides, dealing with a potential pregnancy after you break up with someone is a bit more of a pressing issue then dealing with it when you’re still together.
All of this happened about two weeks ago, give or take a few days, which brings me to today. Now, I’m not gonna get into too much detail here, but by last night I had really begun to start panicking. I figured I would wait until this morning to see, and then text Mr. X to let him know about the situation, which is exactly what ended up happening. Talk about an awkward conversation: “Hey, so I know we broke up, but I may potentially be carrying your bastard child. Oh, and p.s. I new about it before you dumped me”. Needless to say, he spent the majority of his day having a bit of a panic. Again, I learned that breaking up was the right thing as he spent most of his time this morning saying things like “I’m freaking out” and “This is going to be looming over me until we know for sure” and not things like “How are you holding up?” and “Is there anything I can do to help?”.
Ugh. Men. Are there any out there who aren’t so self-absorbed? I mean I get why he was freaking out, and he had every right to. At the same time, though, I feel like it’s more important to worry about the health and mental sanity of the girl, figure out if she actually is pregnant, weigh your options, and then start to panic about yourself. I mean it’s not like he’d be the one who would have to either go through the trauma of having an abortion or carry out the pregnancy, right? Anyways, to settle everyone’s nerves, I went to the doctors today to get tested.
Again, I don’t feel like it’s entirely appropriate (or really that interesting) to get into the nitty-gritty details, but I will tell you that there is nothing to worry about! Thank whatever-ultimate-power-may-be-out-there! I have been having this situation wage war on my nerves (and sanity) for the past few weeks, and I am grateful to report that things have sorted themselves out and I am now A-OK. Stress and worry are officially gone!! Now I can finallyrelax.
And so, internet, I am now able to say that I have officially lived through my first college boyfriend, college break-up, and serious-real-life-see-a-doctor-kind-of-pregnancy-scare. All during midterms I might add. Talk about a stressful load.
Though I am feeling much lighter than I was before, today I feel as though I should feel like a superhero, when in reality I feel a bit off. Maybe I’m not entirely over this whole mess…or maybe the stress is just catching up with me and all I really need is some junk food and a good nights sleep.
You know, when I first started this blog I thought that I would have more of a focus on academics and living through the stress of homework; as the year has gone on, I realize that there is more to being in university than just that. I guess this whole mess is still classified as a (relatively small) aspect the life of an average dropdeadundergrad.
Anyways, Slackers, sorry to get all serious! Hopefully that will be the end of that!
That’s all for now, guys. Remember that you can still get pregnant on the pill! ALWAYS PRACTICE SAFE SEX!
Keep trekking!
-S
dropdeadundergrad 